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Being Thrifty But Not Stingy

I feel bad because one of my friends told me that I'm very stingy. I see myself as thrifty and not stingy in any way. I only spend what I think is needed because I don't have much. How can I defend myself with such comments?

Well, you don't even need to defend yourself at all and I'm certain that your friend made those comments from an uninformed point of view. Though I am not very good at it, I try to account for each and every coin, trying as much as I can to only spend when it is necessary.

Your friend might have misunderstood you, so try to clear it up with him or her. People can easily misjudge us with what they perceive. Telling them the reason for the things we have done might change their perception of us.

Thanks for the advice, but I think I'd rather avoid that friend of mine instead of staying close with her while I keep getting hurt by her comments.

I don't think you need to defend yourself, though I know comments like this would make me feel defensive, too. I don't know why a friend would make that kind of comment - it really isn't a constructive thing to say. Maybe she just doesn't understand how tight finances are for you? As hard as it might be, I'd try and just let it go. If she brings it up again, maybe you can ask her why she feels this way and go from there.

Quote from Rebecca on June 10, 2019, 2:18 am

I feel bad because one of my friends told me that I'm very stingy. I see myself as thrifty and not stingy in any way. I only spend what I think is needed because I don't have much. How can I defend myself with such comments?

I would say just that - "I only spend what I think is needed because I don't have much."

What were you guys talking about when she brought that up?  Stinginess is less about money than it is about being an ungracious, ungenerous person.  You can be stingy with love, with your resources, with your time, with your talents, with your compliments, and yes, with your money too.  Friends are hard to come by so be careful about throwing them away.  Why not be direct and just ask what she meant by that?  She might just be upset because you forgot to tell her happy birthday or you failed to offer her hospitality.  It could be a small thing.


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